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attitude

Chaos contentment or stress?

Are you stressed by what’s happening or how you see what’s happening?

Michelle Grice posted about being content with the chaos as a major goal she is working on. Instead of feeling out of control and powerless with the chaos that comes with running a business from home with young children, she is learning to accept the chaos as part of her life. The acceptance obviously doesn’t remove the hassles of deadlines being 2interrupted by sick kids, etc, but it does reduce the stress and discomfort Michelle feels about such hassles.

It is an interesting point – our attitude is a major factor in how stressful we find situations. And it can also have a flow on effect. Continuing with the work-from-home-mum example, if she is overwhelmed with work she will get stressed and be irritable when her children want her attention. On the other hand, if this Mum accepts she will be interrupted and is less stressed by it then she is likely to deal with the children more positively. And that makes the children more relaxed (and stops her feeling terrible about negative interactions later!)

Like most people, I understand Michelle’s feelings of chaos; I do work from home with young children for a start and it can be chaotic and overwhelming at times. Having to do lists is one thing that always helps me create some order from the chaos.

Further  than to do lists, writing a list of what is chaotic and stressful has a number of advantages:

  • you get a lot of it out of your head so there is psace to think!
  • seeing it written down may show there is less that you thought
  • it allows you to be more objective and set priorities
  • it gives you a list of areas to work on – maybe once you see it written you may realise you DO have the power to change something

What other ideas do you have about changing your perception of chaos? Or about changing some of the chaos itself?

Choosing your environment

One of the factors influencing your happiness and success is the environment you find yourself in – and you do have control over it.

I recently read a blog post by Donna-Marie which reminded me of the impact people have on your life. I honestly believe that if you surround yourself with positive people, you will have a more positive attitude and are likely to find solutions and opportunities. Which of course means that if you spend lots of time with negative, no-hope people, it is much harder to reach your potential and feel happy.

This can impact many of your choices, such as:

  • make sure you employ staff who are positive and creative rather than complainers
  • only attend seminars and networking events where you feel a positive environment – if group members are not supportive or encouraging, you probably won’t benefit much from spending time with them
  • if choosing between two suppliers, pick the one who has a can-do attitude or enthusiasm over the one who makes the project sound like hard work or an interruption to their schedule
  • only use a coach or mentor who believes in success and finding solutions

Who you associate with can even impact on your writing style – positive people use words like “can”, “will”, “value” and “ideas” which inspire you and make your writing positive, too.

Have you ever experienced an obvious change by changing who is around you?

I once knew some people who couldn’t  help themselves from lying and adjusting perceptions to maintain their view of reality. Their behaviour made me uncomfortable and I didn’t like being unable to trust them, so I made a conscious decision to not associate with them. There was actually a great sense of relief when they were no longer part of my life, and I have taken care since to choose who I spend time with whenever possible.