I hope you find my writing and business tips and observations useful. My business and blog are dedicated to helping businesses communicate clearly and reach their potential.
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New weight loss system?
I was on a walk yesterday, and I noticed a sandwich board out the front of a beauty shop. As well as the usual details, it included some text to the side as if to attract attention. The text was:
50% off new clients
If you are very overweight, you may be happy to know they could remove 50% of you (I wonder if you get to choose where the 50% comes from?) If you aren’t overweight enough to want to loose 50%, we can only hope they don’t remove other parts of you!
Of course, what they really meant was new clients pay half price on their usual services – but it is important to write what you mean rather than assume people can understand you.
How could it have been better?
50% off for new clients {yes, adding one word makes all the difference!}
OR
half price for your first visit {longer, but very clear and also shows the discount is for only one visit}
Have you read your marketing messages to be sure they say what you mean them to?
